Chapter 22
“Hey, Tolianne!” Myrthis shouted.
She was in no mood for such
childishness. She turned her horse and rode back to
Myrthis. She could not control herself,
she was bursting with rage. She could
not fathom why she should be so irritable all of a sudden, but she was. Perhaps the initial shock of her
transformation was wearing off, and she was left now to deal in frustration
with her tragic circumstances. Her feminine
form mocked her true nature.
All that she had spent her youth
preparing for was never to come to pass thanks to those manipulative druids and
their stupid prophecy. Not only would
she never be king, but she could never see her family again. Not like this. A storm of wild hostility brewed inside of her. Now everything was making her angry. She was beginning to interpret every offhand
comment as an insult directed at her. She had
almost bit Findelbres’ head off when he told her how she looked when she
pouted. Tolian wasn’t going to tolerate
anymore humor at her expense. Myrthis
had made a big mistake.
Tolian rode up next to her.
“I just asked you a question,
Myrthis. What did you just call me?”
Myrthis was surprised by Tolian’s
reaction. She stared back at the prince.
“God damn you, you bitch!” shouted
Tolian. She couldn’t hold back. She slapped Myrthis in the face, knocking the
druidess right off her horse.
“Tolian!” Brythia yelled.
Delorick hopped off his horse to
assist the fallen druidess. Kalabred
signaled the party to stop. It was
unnecessary as they had stopped anyway.
“Are you okay?” Delorick asked
Myrthis, as he assisted her to standing position. A bright red hand print blazed on her check.
“Yeah, I guess I am,” she responded,
gingerly touching her face. “Ouch!”
Now everyone was looking at Tolian. She felt .
She could not imagine what could have come over her. Her emotions were in turmoil, with sorrow and
rage taking turns in
her brain.
“I will accept no more disrespect
from any of you. You can treat me as the
man I truly am, or you can go back to Hyge Bryth. It’s your choice.” Tolian exclaimed. “So stop looking at me like that and let’s
get going.”
She avoided Brythia’s punitive gaze,
turned her horse and proceded down the trail.
“Let’s go, Kalabred. Or do you want to get out of the way, so that
I can lead. I frankly don’t care. I don’t need any of you.”
She goaded her horse past the stunned
druid and continued down the path. A
drizzle began to come down from the grey canopy high above. After some brief confusion, and some muffled
conversation which Tolian could not hear, the others followed her. She could hear one horse galloping quickly
behind her. She did not turn to see who
it was.
“Tolian,” Brythia said behind her.
She ignored her.
“Tolian, please. I think we should talk about this. Don’t you?”
She turned her head wearily, “What is
there to talk about? I didn’t mean it.”
Then suddenly she was crying. A wave of sorrow engulfed her. Tears poured forth from her eyes. She tried to turn her head so Brythia wouldn’t
see. , she thought, now, I’m crying like
a baby for no reason at in front of the
woman I love. The woman I love, she
reminded herself, but can never have.
That brought out even more tears.
“I’m so sorry,” Tolian whined, “I don’t know what’s happening to
me. This is not who I am. I don’t act like this. I’m sorry.”
“It’s all right,” Brythia said. “Myrthis is fine. She said she’s sorry, if it helps.”
“Nothing helps,” Tolian said
sadly. “It’s this damn body! It feels so wrong. It constantly taunts me, reminding me of the
things I can no longer do or have. Like
you,” she finished.
Brythia reached up and gently stroked
her hair. “I love you no matter
what. It seems I love you more and
more everyday.”
“I don’t know,” Tolian said, “Maybe I should finish this quest by
myself. I’m too unstable emotionally to
be around other people.”
“I think you’ll find that that’s just a phase you’ll go through
occasionally, you’ll get used to it, more or less,” Brythia assured her.
It rained for the next several
days. The paths that they rode became
muddy little streams as the water flowed down the mountains. It was a raw, cool rain that bit right
through Tolian’s armor and clothing.
Everything was drenched. It was
dismal and depressing. The druids
accepted the precipitation as a regular occurrence which nature required. It didn’t seem to bother them in the
least. Delorick and Findelbres shared
Tolian’s discomfort in the October rain.
For the most part they rode in silence, Tolian’s irritability setting
the mood for the journey. Findelbres
complained incessantly about the weather, while Kalabred led them in stoic
silence. Tolian and Brythia rode next to
each other, but spoke little. Delorick
and Myrthis had hit it off fairly well and their conversations were nearly
continuous. Delorick updated her on the
various happenings at the court of Lorm, where she would finally return. And Kilfrie remained ever and mysterious.
The specter of the Demon hung over
them. After the experience with the wild
geese on Hyge Nuyt they were ever vigilant.
They took turns at sentry duty around the camp each evening, with
everyone standing a brief shift. They
had no more messages about the Demon’s whereabouts, nor, in fact, had they
heard anything from Magara. Presumably,
the Demon had somehow cut off their communications. Kalabred didn’t want to send any messages,
lest the Demon should be able to locate them.
Such thoughts did little to lift the somber mood of the expedition. The only thing that was going smoothly was
their journey. The Faerie steeds kept up
the pace admirably. They were, at least,
moving swiftly.
The rain finally stopped. That helped morale somewhat. It was the first night since Hyge Nuyt that
the stars shone down from the heavens upon them. They were seated around the camp fire
endeavoring to get the chill out of their bones when a inhuman screech rang out
from the forest.
“Did you hear that, Kilfrie?” asked
Kalabred.
“Yes,” the dark druidess responded.
“What do you think?”
“Just what we’re looking for,” Kilfrie
said.
Kalabred stood up and walked a short
distance from the fire. He cupped his
hands over his mouth and made a call similar to the one which came from the
forest.
“Is it a message?” Tolian asked.
“Ssshhh,” Kilfrie admonished her.
They waited in silence. Tolian could hear nothing. She was growing impatient. She was still having difficulty with her
emotions. Her irritability seemed
stronger than ever, except now she was more capable of controlling her
outbursts.
“What’s going on?” she asked
anxiously.
“Look,” said Brythia.
She pointed to a tree. In one of its branches a dark shape loomed
stealthily. It jumped down to the ground
and walked tentatively towards them in a catlike gait. It was a black panther. It strode, cautious, towards Kalabred,
casting a nervous glance at the rest of the group around the fire. It was a fine specimen of a beast, but Tolian
was still unclear as to what was going on.
The panther sniffed Kalabred’s hand, and then allowed the druid to pet it. Kalabred spoke to the big cat in growls. He was explaining something to the
feline. At lengththe cat slunk back into the forest,
and Kalabred returned to the fire’s warmth.
“What was that about?” asked
Delorick.
“We don’t have to keep a lookout at
night anymore. The panther will do it
for us,” Kalabred explained.
“That’s nice and convenient,”
Findelbres said.
In the morning Tolian felt terrible . Her breasts were tender and sore, she felt
full and heavy. And the worse part was
the cramps she suddenly started to experience.
She didn’t feel much like getting out of her sleeping bag. Everyone else
was already awake. Princes are not known
for being early risers, and that much had not changed in Tolian. She grunted her good mornings and joined the
others around the morning fire.
“Good morning, Tolian,” Kalabred
said.
“Oh, shit, I feel terrible,” Tolian
groaned. “Ow!” she added as a
particularly sharp pain went through her abdomen. “Must have been something I ate. Does anyone else have digestive troubles?”
Suddenly Myrthis broke out laughing.
“What’s so funny?” asked Delorick, seated
next to her.
“It’s not every day you get to see
the man who got you pregnant get his first period,” she said.
“What?” asked Tolian.
Myrthis pointed to Tolian’s
crotch. She looked down. Her pants were stained with blood.
“Oh my God!” Tolian exclaimed. “I...”
She hadn’t even thought about that
possibility.
“Now you know what humiliation is,” said Kilfrie. “Brythia, maybe you should take Tolian down
to the stream, help her clean up, and explain a few little things to her,” she
suggested.
The druidess immediately got up,
grabbed her bag, and led a red-faced Tolian away.
“Welcome to the club,” Brythia said.
“I don’t believe this is happening,”
Tolian whimpered in despair. She was
totally humiliated. She wanted to cry,
but the continuing pain left her for little room for tears.
“Well, it explains why you’ve been so
bitchy lately,” Brythia observed.
“How long is this going to go on for?”
Tolian asked sorrowfully.
“Four to seven days, every
month. Don’t worry you’ll learn to
adapt. I don’t think we’re going to be
able to salvage your pants, though,” she said, looking down at Tolian’s blood
stained garment.
This was the last straw. She would do her part to kill the Demon, but
then she would end this mockery that her life had become. She was not going to adapt to menstruation—that
was final.
When they got back to the camp,
Tolian felt a little revenged on Myrthis as she was off toward the woods,
vomiting with morning sickness. At first
no one dared speak to Tolian as she huddled by the fire, embarrassed.
“Congratulations, Tolian. You are the first man ever to experience
that. You must be quite honored.”
Tolian glared at him.
“Is there anything I can do?” asked
Delorick.
“Yeah,” raged Tolian, “Let’s jab you in
the abdomen with a dagger and then shove a bunch of rags up your ass, so you
can get some idea what it feels like.
Agghh!”
By then, Myrthis had returned. “Well,” she said. “At least you know everything works all right.”
“I don’t want everything to work all right!” Tolian screamed at her.
“Sure you do,” she taunted her, “If you meet some nice guy, you can get
married and have his babies.”
“Babies! How dare you! No man shall ever touch Tolian, Son of
Tolris!”
“If you do get married,” Myrthis continued,
taunting her. “Would your husband become
a princess?”
That was it. For some reason Myrthis had spent the whole
journey mocking Tolian. Tolian intended
to put a stop to it. She walked over to the
snide Lormian druidess, picked her up roughly and bounded off up the mountain with her. Tolian was going to get to the bottom of the
situation for once and for all.
The others shouted in alarm and
surprise for Tolian to stop. Their calls
quickly disappeared behind Tolian as she ran with her newfound speed. They couldn’t hope to catch her. She ran with ease over the rough terrain,
with Myrthis kicking and screaming the whole way. Finally, after traversing nearly two miles,
Tolian set Myrthis down on a large rock.
Tolian crossed her arms and looked at
Myrthis. The druidess was terrified and
she was shaking quite severely. Serves
her right, Tolian thought.
“Now,” she said. “Explain yourself. Why are you constantly ridiculing me? What have I ever done to you? Have you no respect for your Champion.”
Myrthis leaned forward and started to
cry as she spoke, “You were born.”
“Uh-huh?” Tolian said. “And...”
Myrthis tried to calm herself down.
She wiped the tears from her face, “The day you were born, I was doomed
to my fate.”
“You and me both,” the prince
said. “I still don’t understand.”
“Upon your birth, it was determined
that I should become betrothed to you.
From that moment on, I became a prisoner to my fate. I had no choices to make. My life stopped being my own.”
“You were only a year old at the
time.”
“Obviously, I didn’t understand my
situation at the time, but after the druids took me, they raised me and taught
me much. My only purpose in life was to
bear your heir. I figured that out when
I was six. Nothing else I could do would
ever matter. My life was written. Now, it’s beginning to play out, just as
planned. I just can’t stand it.”
“Well how do you imagine I feel about
this?” asked Tolian. “I was supposed to
be King, I wasn’t going to have any choice about that either. It’s the price of nobility and royalty. Now, I am stuck in this situation, one that I
too can do nothing about.”
Myrthis shook her head, “You don’t
get it do you? You’ve got a chance at
freedom, if you get through this. You’ll
be able to do whatever you want. Go
anywhere you want.”
“As a woman?” Tolian said.
“I don’t call that freedom.
Trapped in this body. I can’t
become king. I can’t do anything....”
“Poor, Tolian,”sighed Myrthis. “I’m sorry.
I do realize that it’s not your fault.
I’ve been terrible. Can you
forgive me?”
“Maybe,” Tolian offered with a slight
chuckle. Then she grew serious, “So,
anyway, what is it you really want to be doing?”
“I want to keep studying
druidry. I don’t want to have to stop to
raise your son.”
That made sense to Tolian.
“Why won’t you be able to still study
druidry?” Tolian asked.
“What do you mean? How am I going to do that stuck in Lorm?”
“I’m supposed to be in charge of the
Druidic Order.”
“So?”
“Well, I shall command Magara to make
some accommodation for your studies. We
do have some sizable forests of our own in Lorm, you know, there will be plenty
of places for you to study and practice.
I promise you, I’ll do my best to assure your happiness. After all ,” Tolian said, “We were supposed
to be married by now.”
Myrthis laughed. Then she cried in joy. Tolian’s solution had never crossed her
mind. At least somebody might get to be
happy, Tolian thought.
“Tolian?” Myrthis asked.
“Yes?”
“Is Delorick married?” the druidess
asked from out of the blue.
Tolian had to laugh now.
“Aha! So you like him? She inquired.
“He’s different than the other men I’ve
known. He’s really sweet.”
Tolian sat down next to Myrthis. “He’s the finest warrior I have ever
known. He’s the best friend I’ve ever
had. There is nothing in this world I
would not do for him if I could.” Then
she added, “and no, he’s not married.”
“Do you think he likes me?”
Tolian shrugged, “I have no idea.”
“I think he does. A girl can tell these things, you know. Maybe, you don’t.”
Tolian allowed herself to feel a little happiness
for Delorick. A happiness she knew that
she could never feel. The thought
depressed her again.
“Are you all right?” Myrthis asked.
“Everybody keeps asking me that,”
Tolian said. “And I keep saying the same
thing: I’m never going to be all right
again. It’s that simple.”
Myrthis put a comforting arm on
Tolian shoulder.
“You know,” she said. “It probably would have been rather nice to
be married to you. You’re very special.”
She leaned over and kissed Tolian on
the cheek.
They sat there for a little while
watching the mist rise up from the valley below as the morning progressed. A figure on horseback suddenly emerged from a
thick blanket of fog. It was Findelbres.
“There you are!” the Faerie
shouted. “I see you didn’t kill her. That’s good.”
“No,” said Tolian, “we’ve come to an
understanding.”
“Delightful,” the faerie replied, “Well,
we had better get back to camp, Kalabred is itching to move on. He is hoping to make it into Lorm by this
evening.”
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